Living your life or GIVING your life?

Last night in our Men’s Group a powerful question was asked.

“What would you give your life for?”

The question took us all by surprise and we had to get a hold of just what was being asked. “What would you die for?” No, we recognized that that is a different question entirely. What would you GIVE your life for? It was tied more closely to the question, “What do you live for?” There was a nuance to “give your life for” that we couldn’t quite articulate. But each of us felt the question pierce directly to the heart and linger there with a poignant patience, knowing that if we dared to answer, it would be a powerful discovery.

The question brought us all to a very powerful edge of personal inquiry. That’s what I love about our monthly men’s group gathering, we create sacred space where there is time, space and a longing for just such types of exploration and discovery.  We like exploring life’s edges.  That’s where life really happens.

What would I give my life for? To allow the question to plant itself a bit deeper I swapped the word “for” to “to.” What would I give my life to? Ahhhhhhhh there it was, what indeed would I, with no restrictions, limitations, concerns of practicality or “reality” checks  dedicate my life to? And why?

As the ah-ha moments came we each shared the deeply held belief or value that spoke most robustly from within us when prompted in such an intriguing way. What core and intimate connection did we each feel with life that would inspire us to dive in, full commitment, no hesitation, all consequences be damned, if we had to make the decision right here, right now and live with it the rest of our lives?

It was a powerful round of sharing. I can’t disclose what others revealed, as that is the nature of our agreement regarding what we speak of in sacred space. But my answer is mine to share.  “What would I give my life to?”

Connection.

Unadulterated, unabashed, pure, limitless, vibrant, life affirming, mind blowing, heart pounding, boundless, endless, timeless – Connection. With…………. Wait for it…………………. Everything – Everyone – All – Complete.

To dedicate every fibre of my being to bringing myself, and all who care to go for the ride with me, to that level of pure ecstatic connection would perhaps (I’m still exploring here) be the one thing that would make all sacrifice and all effort not only completely worthwhile, but completely and unquestionably a source of endless joy.

As soon as I said it, the idea began to grow. I opened the door, I watered the crack in the sidewalk, I put words to my heart’s voice, my heart’s longing.  Things started to shift.

After we each shared with courage and wholehearted truth that which so deeply stirred and brewed within us, we were left with one very pregnant and very intimidating question. It hung smugly in the air. We all knew it, we all felt it, we could all see it there dangling in the middle of the room waiting for someone to give voice to the obvious.

I took the plunge, albeit slowly. “Sooooooooo, what…. is it that…… keeps us from doing……… just……. that thing?” If that is the primary thing that calls from deep within and leaps up, hands waving and calls out ‘Me, me, pick me! I’m your purpose, I’m your ultimate muse, I’m that thing that brings you ultimate joy. I am your service. I am your reason to be.’ Then why in the hell wouldn’t I get on with that right away? Like right now? Like, screw everything else. I’m in. Get out of my way, I’ve got work to do? This is my source of joy. This is my golden ticket to divine love. Let’s get this party started!

And so here I sit this morning a bit stunned by the reverberating answer to “What would I give me life to?” And, am I willing to swap out the word “would” for “do?” What DO I give my life to?

Because I am here on this spinning ball not just LIVING my life, but GIVING my life.
At least that is my opportunity.
I can simply live my life or I can courageously give my life.

With every breath I give life back to that which gave me life. I inhale and take life in, I exhale and give life back. I might as well give it back with joy, love, dedication, commitment and a gusto that reverberates from my deepest sense of YES!

So dear friend, I’ll leave you with the exact same question that started a gathering of unsuspecting men on a very fascinating journey last night. Because a part of the journey is in playing with the question until it settles itself deep in your heart with a poignancy that cannot be denied.

What would you give YOUR life for?

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2 thoughts on “Living your life or GIVING your life?

  1. Chess;
    First off, that was outstanding. You were able to put into words and in print what I have been looking for. The right question(s).
    Secondly, is it possible for a like minded, intelligent person such as myself to join the group?

    All the best,

    Eric

    • Hi Eric,

      Good to hear from you and so glad that the blog resonated weigh you at a deep level.

      Unfortunately this particular men’s group is full with 10 members. However, I do consult with others to help them build their own successful men’s group. There are a lot of nuanced considerations to pay attention to when building a solid group. If you have an interest there, then I can certainly help.

      Indeed, having a group to work with is powerful and very satisfying. We’ve been together just over 2 years and are still learning how to be completely and wholeheartedly authentic and vulnerable with each other.

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