I’m a strong advocate of creating environments where people feel safe to tell their stories. It is through the sharing of the nuances of our lives that we connect, bond and relate to others. Telling your story, and telling it true, requires a great degree of vulnerability.

Vulnerability is the other half of truth.
All too often the unspoken half that waits in the wings yearning for it’s moment in the light.
Without the opportunity to honestly express where and how we feel vulnerable, we’re only having half the conversation, which never really gets to the heart of the matter.

Recently Brené Brown showed up on Ted Talks with a brilliant talk about how vulnerability is a keystone to developing deeper connections with others. I was so glad to see the topic get such resounding support as people clearly resonated with the truth of her message.

Yes!  We’re coming to understand the power of being more vulnerable.  Fantastic.

Now, I want to speak about something that can often be even more difficult to pull off…..

Vulnerability

Be it

Allow it

Invite it

People who come together consistently to explore ideas, share inspirations, encourage grand endeavors and re-examine goals are called a team.

People who come together periodically to mend bridges, fill potholes and put out fires are individuals on collective emergency life support.

Spring has sprung and I am tending to my gardens. It got me thinking, a team is much like a garden. Unattended it can grow wild and quickly get itself into an unwieldy mess. Cared for, managed, loved, trimmed, fed and shaped, it can be a thing of beauty that yields a bountiful harvest.

Like a team. Yes?

Out in my garden I have a beautiful Agave plant that I am training to grow toward the light.

It was crowded into an unhealthy space and position by some invasive plants. I removed the unwanted influences, but that wasn’t enough to redirect the Agave to move toward the newly opened space. It had developed some bad growing habits. It needed support and guidance to move it in a new direction.

I tried pulling on it’s thick trunk to move it. Two things became quickly apparent. 1) Once settled on a particular direction, old, thick, established and hearty habits are difficult to redirect. 2) If I pulled too hard and too fast, the trunk would snap and far more damage than good would be inflicted.

This was going to require time, patience, persistence and gentle firm effort.

“The chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken.”

Animals, plants, humans and anything else that grows are driven by habits. Circus elephants chained to a stake in the ground become so accustomed to a limited radius of their freedom than even when the chains are removed, the elephant will not stray from it’s restricted belief system. Stories are told of circus tent fires where the unchained elephants will perish because they won’t try to escape. They simply don’t believe that the freedom is real.

I was determined to save this beautiful agave from growing itself into the dark and crowded corner for which it was destined.

Nearby to this hearty plant is a strong post anchored to a solid foundation. I secured one end of a rope to the post and the other end to the Agave. I tied a truckers hitch in the rope and cinched it as tight as I could to move the plant just enough to get it started in a new direction, but not too much as to break it in two. I took it to the edge of it’s ability to change in that moment.

A week later I returned and tightened the rope by another couple of tugs. The Agave moved few more inches toward the light. I retied the rope in this new position. A week later I again went through the same motions and again the beautiful plant found itself another few inches closer to open space and abundant light.

I have done this for a few months and the Agave is now thriving. When I told a colleague about the method I used, she said, “Oh, you Bonsai-ed it.” That got me thinking – again (I can’t help it).

Over 25 years of working with people and teams in transition, I have found an all too common and frustrating dynamic at play in many organizational training protocols. Stressed by the myth of not enough time and the rush to “get things done” companies are trying to force too much change, too fast and with too much inconsistently.

Teams get together once every six months or so, they explore an agenda full of bold change behaviors, they overload with change concepts and then they try to apply and sustain them all. As soon as they leave the training environment and the focus is removed, they typically revert back to what is comfortable, known and safe. Then six months later they try again.

“We are what we repeatedly do.  Excellence then is not an act, but a habit”
– Aristotle

Effective, lasting and deeply rooted change happens over time and with patience. Just as with a beautifully crafted and lovingly attended Bonsai – focused, gentle pushes and pulls in the right direction applied with consistency and patience results in a artful form that mirrors an inspired vision.

Here’s the big idea: If you want to effect real, lasting and heartfelt change, engage your team with meaningful but limited content on a more consistent basis.

If you only got together with your spouse or partner twice a year to talk about how things are going in the relationship, there might not be all that many years to consider.

Teams have behavioral characteristics that are no different than those of people. Because teams ARE people. If you wanted to effect significant and lasting change in your own diet, exercise regimen, meditative abilities, relationship responses or any other habit based behavior, you wouldn’t get together with your coach or trainer once every 6 months. You would fail. To be successful, you would dedicate yourself to an intelligent, consistent, focused and easily managed program that would inspire you, motivate you and shift you without breaking you, frustrating you and ultimately causing you to abandon an unrealistic and overwhelming change.

Apply these simple rules and you will achieve grand results.

• Shorten your training sessions.

• Enthusiasm is reduced by time.
• Less than 3 hour sessions will keep people engaged and involved.

• Increase your training frequency.

• People who gather together regularly and consistently substantially strengthen their sense of connection and trust.
• Increased frequency makes learning and evolving an organizational habit and expectation.
• Every parent, teacher, coach or behavioral therapist knows – frequent repetition is the key to success.

• Keep it simple.

• Stick to one or two primary concepts per session so that the learning is easy to digest and goes deep.
• Don’t feel like you have to make a big ordeal and production out of every training opportunity.
• Strong content beats glitz and hoopla.

• Follow up.

• Ongoing coaching and support is the most critical key to success in ANY endeavor.
• A concept that is delivered but not further developed and supported loses credibility.
• Coaching reinforces the learning in a very personal way that capitalizes on a participants particular learning style.

Your team will flourish in a well tended garden created with vision, care, dedication, focus and an eye toward consistently nourishing all the lovely peeps that are growing and thriving there.

An abundant harvest comes only to those that tend to their charges, with patience, persistence, commitment and love.

“What would you give your life for?”

The question took us all by surprise and we had to get a hold of just what was being asked. “What would you die for?” No, we recognized that that is a different question entirely. What would you GIVE your life for? It was tied more closely to the question, “What do you live for?” There was a nuance to “give your life for” that we couldn’t quite articulate. But each of us felt the question pierce directly to the heart and linger there with a poignant patience, knowing that if we dared to answer, it would be a powerful discovery.

The question brought us all to a very powerful edge of personal inquiry. That’s what I love about our monthly men’s group gathering, we create sacred space where there is time, space and a longing for just such types of exploration and discovery.  We like exploring life’s edges.  That’s where life really happens.

What would I give my life for? To allow the question to plant itself a bit deeper I swapped the word “for” to “to.” What would I give my life to? Ahhhhhhhh there it was, what indeed would I, with no restrictions, limitations, concerns of practicality or “reality” checks  dedicate my life to? And why?

As the ah-ha moments came we each shared the deeply held belief or value that spoke most robustly from within us when prompted in such an intriguing way. What core and intimate connection did we each feel with life that would inspire us to dive in, full commitment, no hesitation, all consequences be damned, if we had to make the decision right here, right now and live with it the rest of our lives?

It was a powerful round of sharing. I can’t disclose what others revealed, as that is the nature of our agreement regarding what we speak of in sacred space. But my answer is mine to share.  “What would I give my life to?”

Connection.

Unadulterated, unabashed, pure, limitless, vibrant, life affirming, mind blowing, heart pounding, boundless, endless, timeless – Connection. With…………. Wait for it…………………. Everything – Everyone – All – Complete.

To dedicate every fibre of my being to bringing myself, and all who care to go for the ride with me, to that level of pure ecstatic connection would perhaps (I’m still exploring here) be the one thing that would make all sacrifice and all effort not only completely worthwhile, but completely and unquestionably a source of endless joy.

As soon as I said it, the idea began to grow. I opened the door, I watered the crack in the sidewalk, I put words to my heart’s voice, my heart’s longing.  Things started to shift.

After we each shared with courage and wholehearted truth that which so deeply stirred and brewed within us, we were left with one very pregnant and very intimidating question. It hung smugly in the air. We all knew it, we all felt it, we could all see it there dangling in the middle of the room waiting for someone to give voice to the obvious.

I took the plunge, albeit slowly. “Sooooooooo, what…. is it that…… keeps us from doing……… just……. that thing?” If that is the primary thing that calls from deep within and leaps up, hands waving and calls out ‘Me, me, pick me! I’m your purpose, I’m your ultimate muse, I’m that thing that brings you ultimate joy. I am your service. I am your reason to be.’ Then why in the hell wouldn’t I get on with that right away? Like right now? Like, screw everything else. I’m in. Get out of my way, I’ve got work to do? This is my source of joy. This is my golden ticket to divine love. Let’s get this party started!

And so here I sit this morning a bit stunned by the reverberating answer to “What would I give me life to?” And, am I willing to swap out the word “would” for “do?” What DO I give my life to?

Because I am here on this spinning ball not just LIVING my life, but GIVING my life.
At least that is my opportunity.
I can simply live my life or I can courageously give my life.

With every breath I give life back to that which gave me life. I inhale and take life in, I exhale and give life back. I might as well give it back with joy, love, dedication, commitment and a gusto that reverberates from my deepest sense of YES!

So dear friend, I’ll leave you with the exact same question that started a gathering of unsuspecting men on a very fascinating journey last night. Because a part of the journey is in playing with the question until it settles itself deep in your heart with a poignancy that cannot be denied.

What would you give YOUR life for?

The true depth of connection between team members is an invisible quality that is only seen when it is reflected in the actions of the team under the most challenging of circumstances.

As a leader, one of your key roles is to help transform confusing complexity into elegant and powerful simplicity.

Arguably the most complex component of a leader’s world is the diverse mix of people they lead.

Organizational cultures can be a minefield of complex and intricate relationships. You already know how even a very small handful of intimate relationships at home can be challenging enough to manage. At work, the complexity of multiple relationship dynamics multiplies exponentially. Add to that the pressures of stress, speed, ego, career advancement, the ever shifting landscape of office politics, perceived status, financial security and working with people who you didn’t necessarily choose to have in your life – and you’ve got a pretty complex situation to manage.

 As a leader, you need to do everything you can to add clarity, inspiration, encouragement and well defined purpose to this wildly flavored soup of relationships and often conflicting goals.

Rewards – Seeking the simple solution first

So, yes, people are complicated. But we are also quite simple in that we typically do more of what we are rewarded for and do less of those things that yield no rewards or have negative consequences.

It is through this particular simplicity of human nature that a purposeful leader can realize their best leverage for shaping a stellar team.

People are primarily motivated by what makes them feel safe, happy and positively acknowledged.

If you have children, you understand this simple concept quite well and you’re probably clear with your children about just what types of behaviors will garner rewards and which will meet with disfavor.

If you don’t have children, I’m going to go out on a limb and assume that you yourself were once a child and that you recognize this simple pattern of reward and denial of reward from your own youth.

Here’s the thing, that innate human behavior of seeking reward doesn’t change all that much as we become adults. It’s a lifelong survival mechanism that we do things that bring pleasure and avoid things that bring pain.

Successful leaders create a positive culture of rewards.

When it comes to leading a team or an organization, it’s far more effective to focus primarily on rewards and less on punitive or disciplinary actions. When working within a positive environment of appreciation and rewards, people embody a larger and more vitally alive sense of themselves. A feeling of confidence supports them in being more adventurous and courageous. Someone who feels really good about themselves is much more inspired to take on serious challenges with enhanced creativity and verve.

The general rule I advise is a 90/10  Reward / Discipline ratio.

For the most part you don’t want to punish people to get your point across. It will become very clear to everyone when you shower praise and rewards upon those who are meeting your clearly stated expectations while others who aren’t stepping up find themselves standing still.

“True leaders do not create followers, the create other leaders.”
~ Martin Luther King Jr.

Of course you ideally want everyone to be advancing, growing, learning and excelling. But the truth is that even as you help people grow, you will also have to manage the right people in and out of your team as a reflection of what you consider to be A team behaviors.

Be Proactive – Set the North Star to guide your team.

A less than creative leader waits until undesirable behavior is exhibited and then works to correct the unwanted behavior. Far better for everyone on your team to be quite clear about what you expect, what you will reward and what you will not tolerate.

Rather than allowing those whom you lead to drift aimlessly in a sea of assumption, take the opportunity to sit down with your team and set a very clear understanding of what behaviors, actions and attitudes you want your team to align with.  Then the team will have clear targets to aim for and clear obstacles to avoid. Mis-steps are all too common when making decisions in a fast paced environment while managing complex inter-personal relationships and dynamic projects.

Your delivery of a vibrant and compelling north star vision will keep your team on course as they navigate the often turbulent environment of organizational pressures and politics.

Be consistent with your words and actions.

Be consistent with your rewards. Just like a parent who says one thing but whose behavior sends a very different message, your team will align themselves more with your actions than your words.

Be Clear First Unto Yourself.

First you must be clear for yourself about what you reward. If one of your team members leads a successful campaign but in the process damages relationships and leaves the team feeling battered and fractured, you need to know if simply achieving a goal represents a team behavior that you will reward. Do you simply reward a successful goal outcome? Or does the manner in which the goal is achieved make a difference?

What might rewards look like?

• A pat on the back

• A promotion

• Giving more responsibility and visibility

• Company perks

• A juicy assignment

• More authority

• A public acknowledgement

• A raise

• A private conversation acknowledging your appreciation of their efforts and conveying your confidence in their abilities.

• A seat at the table where critical decisions are made.

Small can be huge.

A wealth of small but heartfelt acknowledgments of a team member’s positive team support behaviors can quickly add up and have a huge impact. It doesn’t always have to be a major reward. We all like a pat on the back and a nod of wholehearted and sincere approval. And when you find yourself consistently appreciating someone’s work and team play, then it’s time to offer a larger and more substantial reward.

Take Action and Get a Clear Message Out There

Some of the best sessions I facilitate are when I give the team leader the homework assignment of preparing a clear statement of expectations for their team and then helping them to deliver those expectations with clarity and candor.

Set aside time to have a Q & A session with your team where you lay out your expectations of team behavior and your team gets to ask clarifying questions and also are able to let you know what types of motivations work for them.

Give your team members a very clear North Star for which to aim amidst the stormy seas of organizational navigation.

Just a few examples of North Star behaviors you might reward:

• Keeping the importance of building strong and trusting relationships as a core component of decision making processes.

• Building relationships is more important than singular outcomes that weaken team dynamics.

• Taking responsibility. Being a part of the solution. Not blaming others, working with others.

• There is no “THEM”, there is only US.

• Creating bridges of connection where connections are weak or non-existent.

• Collaborating creatively across departments and disciplines.

• Seeking to understand before assuming negative intent.

• Asking frequent and thoughtful questions before proclaiming definitive answers.

• Supporting the best in others and taking the time to be a mentor.

• Seeing problems as opportunities for creative engagement rather than issues that drag the team down.

“You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers.

You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions.”

~ Egyptian Author, Naguib Mahfouz

Look to your own mentors. What are the gems that you learned from them?

What gems are you clearly imparting to your team?

Take the time and have the conversation with your team.

Then keep that core conversation vibrantly alive as you and your team blaze a purposeful path forward guided by a clear and brilliant North Star of powerful team actions and behaviors.

Our commitments are not for the easy days when we “feel” like meditating, working out, doing yoga, writing our book, eating well, etc…

Our 100% commitments are for the days when we don’t feel inspired to do what it takes to stay healthy and balanced. These are the days when our commitments might be the only thing that keep us in the flow.

Every time I stray from my commitments, daily rituals and practices of self care, I find myself less balanced, less focused, less powerful and less clear. EVERY TIME. Not sometimes or occasionally. ALWAYS.

The extent of our success is directly related to the strength of our foundation.

Our disciplines and practices of self care are the primary contributors to our core foundational strength.  This rock solid foundation supports EVERYTHING else in our lives.  Even the most brilliant ideas, intentions, projects and actions will eventually crumble if they are not built upon a solid foundation.

Just a few components of a solid personal foundation include:

• Vibrant  and robust physical health
• A clear mind
• A balanced sense of presence
• A prevailing sense of peace
• A rich and immediate connection to core values.
• A strong and direct connection to a life force and central faith
• Connection to family and friends
• Ongoing education and learning

When a commitment is made with the general intent to “mostly” follow through on it, then each and every day becomes a new process of weighing options and deciding if this is the day that you can justify not following through? Is today the day that you find an excuse?

What an expense of energy and what a perfect recipe for falling back into non-supportive habits and losing sight of the commitment altogether. 95% commitment becomes 75% then 50% and then……

With 100% commitment, no exceptions, done deal, not negotiable – the decision is made. That’s it! You don’t have to revisit the question at hand.

Some of the practices to which we can dedicate ourselves regularly to help build healthy foundations are:

(Just to name a few)  Basically anything that helps you feel more alive, centered, clear, balanced and connected the the miracle of life.

Living life without the practices that demand my commitment and dedication is the hardest work I have ever done. Discipline has set me free!

Once I was lost – Discipline, Commitment, Routine, Dedication – All words that used to threaten the petulant child within me who wanted to do what the hell he wanted when he wanted. Don’t give me your rules and your guidance and your help. I’ll figure it out on my own and I certainly don’t need or want any structure to constrain me.

I was clinging to false freedoms and found myself in the endless loop of getting lost and getting found and then getting lost again. It was completely exhausting.

See if this sounds familiar. The classic insane internal conversation:

• Life has begun to spiral out of control and so I better re-dedicate myself to my foundational practices of self care.
• Within a few days, weeks or months – Whew, I’m feeling back on track and solid. So now I can ease up on those pesky and time consuming commitments.
• Within a few days, weeks or months – Hmmmmm, I’m not feeling so focused, clear and aligned with my core values and desires. I’m feeling a bit adrift and uncertain. I better get back to my dedication to the things that I know always bring me back to a powerful center & balance & clarity.
• Within a few days, weeks or months – O.K. I’m feeling strong and clear again, I don’t need the support of my practices. I can back off a bit on these daily practices that are my saving grace.  But just back off a little, not completely.
• Within a few days, weeks or months – Damn, I’ve lost my way again……

There is only one way to end this insane cycle – 100% Commitments.

A Leader’s most critical role is ensuring that those they lead are having the most courageous conversations possible.

One of the core guiding principles of courageous leadership is that you are always evolving the team. No matter what problems you are trying to solve or goals you are attempting to reach, there is ALWAYS a parallel agenda of building, strengthening and supporting a highly productive and creative team culture.

Confident leaders don’t concern themselves with being the smartest person in the room, just the most present and attentive.

It is not the leader’s primary function to generate the best ideas. A leader’s most important role is to create the culture and environment where courageous conversations, daring ideas, ingenious collaborations, healthy conflicts and bold actions can take root, grow and thrive.

I’ve been facilitating team and leadership development programs now for almost 30 years. And in that work I have guided thousands of teams through experiential activities where they get to work together to generate solutions to problems. It is exceptionally rare that I come across a team that will purposefully choose a leader to hold themselves somewhat apart from the “problem solving” aspect of the activity and instead take on the role of creating and maintaining an environment within which the team can do their best work.

It is the quality of the conversations being held that has the biggest impact over the quality and creativity of the results.

Consider the leader to be akin to the conductor of an orchestra. Without the conductor the performance of the even the most dedicated and passionate of symphony musicians just wouldn’t be as brilliant.  It is the quantity of music they play or how loudly or even how passionately.  It is the grace, synergy, attentiveness and fluidity with which they crete their music that makes the difference.  And that ability to be graceful is held and supported by the leader.

The leader holds the Mountaintop Perspective.

It is often a good idea to have the lead on a project be the person who’s nose isn’t buried in the details. This allows the leader to keep an mountaintop perspective on how the team is working together and how the progress being made is aligning with the overall objective while others dive into the gritty details of the project.

Teams often mistakenly think that the person with the best idea about how to solve a problem or the most creative thinker should be the leader of a project. Then when that person get’s so focused on the task and swimming in the details the team is left without a leader who can truly see the big picture. Don’t shackle your most creative thinkers with the need to be both in it all and above it all at the same time.

Hold space for Courageous Conversations and let innovative results you never might have imagined blow you away.

Poet and philosopher, David Whyte speaks to the idea that rather than focusing solely on finding solutions and making the changes that you think need to happen, it is far more powerful to simply create the opportunity to have the most courageous conversations you can have.

When we focus not so much on finding solutions but instead focus primarily on creating the conditions where courageous conversations can occur, then far more bold and innovative solutions that we might never have imagined will instead find us.

This is a practice that takes the discipline of a truly courageous leader. A faith needs to be employed here. A faith in your team and a faith in what can reveal itself when you set the stage for people interact at a deeper level of intimacy and courage.

The additional benefit to this concept, beyond yielding more imaginative ideas, is that your team feels the faith that you have placed in them. They rise to the challenge with courage, accountability, responsibility and the ability to handle the most difficult of encounters. They grow, evolve and become stronger individuals and a stronger team. Bonus! You achieve outrageous results while simultaneously strengthening your team.

Leaders ask questions that other can’t see to ask.

When everyone else is deeply invested in the task, the leader is the one who who’s paying more attention to the process. She is the one who has the discipline to step back and listen and observe. She is the one who, from this leadership perspective, can “feel” how the team is progressing and how effectively they are working together. When she does this, she can see very clearly what questions need to be asked to keep the team in alignment with their greatest strengths and abilities.

“You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers.
You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions.”
~ Egyptian Author, Naguib Mahfouz

Critical questions might include:

• Has everyone had an opportunity to contribute?

• Did you all hear what Joe just said? It is a critical point he makes.

• Are we asking the right questions?

• Have we explored enough ideas or are we chasing the first idea that sounded plausible?

• Make a plan (And then ask more questions)

• ALWAYS ask – Is everyone clear what our plan is?

• Is everyone clear what their role is?

• Set clear actions with clear timelines.

• What are the exact actions that need to be taken to implement our plan or ideas?

• Who is taking lead on these actions?

• When can the team expect this action to be completed?

• What will that action step actually look like?

Core Actions:

• Create time and opportunity for the right people to collaborate.

• This won’t always happen on it’s own within a time pressured environment.

• Hold meetings in a space conducive to open dialogue and creative expression.

• Consider lighting, windows, temperature, privacy, open space, tools for capturing the outcomes of the creative process.

• No matter how small the task or scope of the meeting, choose a leader to facilitate the process. Some call this a process monitor, but this is more important than that. You are choosing someone who is going to LEAD you through the journey of your meeting.

• Educate your team in the art of engaging in healthy conflict.

• Educate your team in the art of innovative collaboration.

• Ensure that your team really knows each other and has developed a powerful sense of Team Viscosity.

• Guide your team rather than control your team. Let go and let the magic flow.

These are just a few initial guidelines and considerations for the Courageous Leader. There is a lot more to explore. The well is deep and the opportunities are profoundly rich when leaders can keep an eye on the big picture while others relish in the engaging details of making the magic happen.

Chess Edwards and his team at True North Alliance are ready to support you and your teams as you achieve the highest levels of Courageous Leadership and deliver Outrageous Results!

“Be generous & prolific in your own self care and acts of courage. Those who your heroic choices inspire today, might well be your own inspiration tomorrow.”

The communities in which we live and work are the communities that we help build, create and evolve through our own actions and deeds. If we choose actions and behaviors which are inspiring, healthy and courageous then those qualities will be reflected in the world around us. Choose wisely and you will find yourself surrounded by healthy, courageous and inspired people who will be there when you need them most. It is a self sustaining and self promulgating course of positive action that inspires more positive action.

“The world around us is nothing more and nothing less than a reflection of what we have become from within.
We must become the very things that we choose to experience in life.”
~ Gregg Braden – The Science of Miracles.

Whether it be our work communities or those of our friends and family, it is important that we contribute to them mightily, abundantly and consciously because it is within our communities that we do the vast majority of our living, loving, dreaming, creating and evolving.

To truly be of service to our communities, it is important to consider not only how we act toward others, how we communicate and even what we think, but to what degree we take care of ourselves and make healthy lifestyle choices.

 How we act toward ourselves
is as important as
how we act toward others.
Self care is a powerfully selfless act.

 In our various roles as a leaders, parents, siblings, sons, daughters, friends, co-workers, etc… we make a tremendous difference when we make healthy life affirming choices that are reflected in our daily practices, commitments and regimens.

Those close to us are paying attention and when they witness us making heroic and challenging choices and commitments, they do reflect upon their own choices.

Your courage of self care is a gift for others.

It doesn’t matter our job title, perceived role or position of influence within the community. The difference between teacher, leader or student is not a matter of status, it is a matter of timing. From one moment to the next, you shift from one to the other. Be prolific and gracious in the sharing of your passions and gifts no matter what your status. Those who your heroic choices inspire today, might well be your own inspiration tomorrow.

A real life example of how my own life choices recently circled back around and saved my butt just when I needed them most.

About a month ago I started to wander from my optimal health regimen. I began exercising less, my meal portions started steadily increasing, my alcohol intake inched its way upward. Bottom line, I found myself far afield from the healthy lifestyle that I have long enjoyed and that I coach and advocate for others.

Then my best friend, business partner and fellow adventurer, Jeff Salz returned from a week of insanely focused healthy living at the Optimal Health Institute near San Diego, California. When he returned from this haven of health and well being, he called to fill me in on his experience. After 10 minutes of speaking with him and hearing about his major strides in optimizing and regaining control over his own health and dietary choices, I was mightily inspired to get back to my own best practices of vibrant living.

Now I’m back to a very gratifying exercise program, happily eating with my eyes wide open to the health benefits of proper diet and I’ve gladly walked away from all alcohol for a month to reset my base.

Here’s the kicker. Not more than six months ago, Jeff and I were living exact opposite roles. His health was spiraling out of control and I had never felt better and more in balance in my life.

Jeff confessed that it was my inspirational lifestyle that played a large part in him reaching out to get control of his own health. He had watched my health become a focus of my everyday routines and commitments and he watched my work and personal relationships bloom as they never had before due to my clarity of mind, body and spirit.

And thank goodness he was paying attention, because when I lost my way (as we all do!) I needed him to be there for me. And he was, simply through his actions of courageous self care. Its a wonderful loop of support.

Living at our highest potential is a constant process of remembering – then forgetting – then remembering again…

The idea is to lengthen the time we spend remembering the value of self care and gracefully and compassionately shift back from the forgetting when we lose our way. And one of the best sources of remembering is those within our community that we ourselves may have inspired.

Today Jeff and I are both flying high and making healthy choices. I know that we both inspire each other and those within the community that we help to create. I don’t know what tomorrow may bring; what struggles, challenges or roadblocks I may come up against. But I know that the choices I make in each moment along the way create a powerful loop of reciprocal support. And I know that I am inspired every day, several times a day, by those within my community whose actions and deeds are those of self care, vibrant health, service to others and a courageous commitment to creating a better world.

It has become abundantly clear to me that….

The quality and character of the world in which I wish to live and love and create and explore is truly up to me to create through my own actions!

What about you?
What action can you take today that is going to shape the world you will inhabit tomorrow?

Who is watching you and just what do they see? It only takes one step to put it all into motion. Make your very next action one of passion, inspiration and courageous self care and then watch it all go ’round and ’round.

Examining your wins and applying the lessons learned is a winning success strategy all too rarely practiced in time-stressed organizations.

Most organizations I work with have learned to take the time to examine the particular circumstances that contribute to failure or significant problems. This is often called a ‘Post Mortem.’ It’s a great idea and companies that don’t learn from their mistakes in a systematic way often make the same or similar mistakes again and again.

But here is the real game changer….

Don’t just celebrate your successes;
Study your successes and let your discoveries lead to more big wins to come.

Standard business models have taught us to learn from our mistakes. Unfortunately we’re not so well trained in taking the time to explore the often subtle details behind our big wins.

The Big Idea here is to bring the same care, diligence and systematic exploration and discovery to your successes!!!

Time is not inherently the enemy. It only becomes so if we don’t use it well.

 “We don’t have the time to……”

Sound familiar? That’s the story we tell ourselves as we rush in an often reckless drive right past tremendous opportunities that can ultimately save us this very same precious time. But time is just time. Our power lies in how we choose to use it. We either stop and take the time to learn from our successes and then apply the lessons to our benefit, or we don’t.

How do we apply this winning strategy?

We often talk about taking the time to celebrate a success. Its important to enjoy the fruits of your labors and bask in the positive atmosphere of accomplishment. And even that is difficult for many teams and organizations to do with consistency and dedication. It takes discipline and forward thinking leadership to ensure that the team takes the time to recharge, take a deep collective breath, acknowledge the success, celebrate and realign themselves for the next big challenge.

Create a discipline around discovering the “WHY” and “HOW” behind your most important victories.

Some important areas of inquiry after a rousing success are:

• Did particular teams or individuals collaborate in ways that they never have before?

• Did certain teams or team members make any sacrifices that led to a larger success?

• Did one form of leadership emerge that the teams resonated with particularly well?

• What were the winning strategies in approaching difficult communication challenges?

• Which of the team or company values were followed through on to such a degree that it made a significant difference in the outcome of the project?

• What allies did you rely on for critical support? How are you going to thank them?

• What is repeatable in regards to the team dynamics, personal relationships and individual contributions?

• What behaviors do you want to make sure you reward and support?

These are questions that should be raised openly and in a structured manner after your big wins. Bring the players together to discuss winning strategies. This is best done face to face. It is through thoughtful questioning and discussion that the real “Ah-ha” discoveries come to light. Make this as routine and normal a practice as is the standard post mortem.

This won’t happen naturally!

Especially in an ultra busy work environment where the next big project is breathing down your neck.

You’ll need to purposefully set time aside for this ritual. If you’re not yet comfortable facilitating such a structured examination of the big learnings from your triumphs, you can always bring in someone such as myself who is trained in mining for such nuggets of wisdom.

Don’t miss the opportunity to learn, grow and re-apply your best internal practices!! The time is ripe just after a big success to ask such critical and revealing questions; the answers to which might just surprise you and offer a powerful template for future wins!

So, remember…

Succeed, Explore, Discover, Repeat

When Leaders let go, magic flows and people grow.

There’s not a person that I know, including myself, who couldn’t stand a little softening around the edges or wouldn’t benefit greatly from a bit of letting go.

Think about your friends, family and co-workers. I’d wager that when you consider how they might be a bit more graceful in the world, you most likely see where they might soften an edge, ease a tightness, loosen a clenched grip or let go of some need to control.

Of course, this applies to you too, you being human after all.

And if you’re in a leadership position, then the areas where you hold on the most fervently might very well be inhibiting the growth and potential of those you lead.

Consider this…
The main reason people leave their jobs is not because of pay.
It is because of the way that they are managed and led.

Ask any employee and the majority will tell you that leaders who are willing to be vulnerable are seen as strong and trustworthy. Leaders who have an over-active need to control are less trusted, less respected and viewed as more fearful leaders.  And people are more willing to follow and strive for a leader they trust and respect.

If Dr. Suess were to chime in he might put it this way…

“Oh, the places you’ll go
when you’re willing to let go.”

One all too common misgiving I hear from people working within organizations is that they don’t feel respected, appreciated or trusted by the leaders for whom they work. Typically this is indicative of a leadership style that pushes hard or effective and efficient end results at the expense of building a strong sense of morale, confidence, responsibility, enjoyment and synergy within the culture.

You can have it all if you remember that…
You are ALWAYS building your team.

No matter what else you are focusing on, you are ALWAYS building your team. Always. Either you are endeavoring to build a culture that feels trusted, respected and celebrated, or you are not. And if you aren’t, then your team simply will not remain in tact, let alone grow, strengthen and unify.

Just like a good jockey knows when to hold tight to the reigns and when to let go and let the horse run its own race. Holding tight through the entire race will never win the prize.

 True leaders don’t create followers, they create other leaders.

In my work within organizations, I have increasingly seen this hard edge of control and severe sense of directing others limit a leader’s ability to foster communities and cultures of trust and respect. People can feel limited in their opportunities to grow and evolve and consequently don’t feel the enthusiasm to take the imaginative risks that lead to game changing successes.

There can be this overriding sense of the way it should be done where the leader sees opportunities for more efficiency, effectiveness and “doing it the right way” that others might not initially see.

After all, isn’t it the leader’s job to ensure that the end results are achieved the right way, the best way, the most efficient way?

Well, yes, if the products of the team’s efforts are the only end result the leader is looking for. But ultimately the leader is always and without fail attending to other critical agendas. Such as building the team, fostering trust, elevating respect, encouraging honesty, accountability, creativity and an ever deepening sense of enthusiastic empowerment amongst those they lead.

Feeding our fears manifests more of
the very things we fear.

The climber who grips too tight to the rock face for fear falling to their death, will eventually become exhausted and fall to their death. Holding on too tight to anything is not sustainable. The seasoned climber knows that even in the face of death, it is their nimbleness, their light touch on the rock, their trust in their team, their calm breath and their steady heartbeat that will see them successfully through the challenge and deliver them to the top of their goal.

Taking Action

Leaders ask the tough questions – first and foremost of themselves.

• Where am I holding on too tight?

• Is there a fear that’s driving my need for control?

• Is that fear real?

• Where are my hard edges chipping away at the authentic expressions of others?

• What opportunities would open up, for myself and others, if I loosened my grip?

• What specifically would a bit of “letting go” look like? What is the action I can take?

We typically gain trust and respect from those to whom we have given our trust and respect.

Imagine that!

Look for any relationships that feel strained or people over whom you have influence who aren’t perhaps acting in ways that show confidence, empowerment, enthusiasm or inspired risk taking. There’s a good chance that the simple (but perhaps not so easy) solution might just be in your own softening around the edges and in your own ability to let go and let the magic flow.

A final reflection – We don’t love the Snoopster simply because he’s lovable.  We love and admire Snoopy because he reminds us that true courage is the ability to let it all go and celebrate life with those with whom we work and create!